Superbowl Commercials Saved From Total Suck By Megan Fox in a Bathtub

Give Tiger Woods' Mistresses a Tap, Tap, Taperoo

This could be one of the most hilariously-in-bad-taste things I've ever seen: a twelve-pack of golf balls printed with the faces of Tiger's 12 mistresses. The slogan? "He likes to play a round with them... now you can too!" Notice the subtle cleverness of the a-round pun. They are being marketed by a Canadian company called Creative Classics. They offer two sets, one to actually play with and one for collectors, price at $44.95+S&H and up.

With your purchase you get Rachel the celeb slut, Cori the 31-year-old mom, Jaime the waitress, Holly the pornstar, Kalika the club promoter, Loredana the playmate, Jaime 2 the "escort", Mindy the Perkins waitress, Julie the Roxy club model, Theresa the old maid, and Cougar - the mysterious 12th woman whose details are just emerging.

Former porn star Joslyn James AKA Holly (whose real name is Veronica Siwik-Daniels) is none too pleased with her face being on the golf balls. She's retained lawyer-to-the-porn-stars, Gloria Allred to fight the sale of the fabulous golf ball sets. Siwik-Daniels claims she feels it is wrong for a golf ball to have her picture on it with implications of violence against women saying, "because golfers hit their golf bars with a lot of force."

Veronica, you're right, golf "bars" defintiely pack a lot of punch. Allred says, "We have pointed out that encouraging golfers to use clubs to hit a woman's face that is portrayed on a golf ball is a dangerous and reprehensible act because it encourages violence against women." I'm not sure I see the connection there Gloria, unless maybe you've got the course record round in your sites and on the 18th green your wife burps from the golfkart in mid-putt, causing your ball to rim out and trickle down into the nearby water-hazzard. Then maybe a little golf-barring is called for! (Just kidding)

Siwik-Daniels claims she was "in love" with Tiger during their one-year fling. She made public a text message Woods allegedly sent to her in October: "Baby, I'm not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I am not losing that ..." Sorry Tiger, but looks like your lost that, along with a ton of sponsors, possibly your wife and kids, and your stature. It's a sad day, but perhaps some novelty golf balls will cheer you up!

You can get your own get right here!

Images taken from tailofthetiger.com Copyright © 2010 Michael H. Caldwell and property of Creative Classics.

National Signing Day is Here and Alabama Fans Are Smart-Not

February 3rd is signing day for all the little high school seniors who have been offered scholarships to play football in the NCAA. It's a huge day for those kids and their parents - they will be signing letters of intent, binding them to attend and play football for the school that they choose for the next four or five years. It's also a big day for rabid college football fans who see the future of their teams in the recruiting classes that come in each February.

Fans following recruiting has become a big business with sites like Rivals and Scout covering recruiting almost exclusively - even ESPN has setup a bush-league recruiting news division to compete. But recruit ratings and stars are hardly a measure of how good the player will actually be a couple years down the road. And some fan bases might go just a bit too far in their love of their team.

Those fans are Alabama Crimson Tide fans. Alabama is good at football, very good, the school revolves around it and lives and dies by their success on the gridiron. That's all well and good except for that the whole book-learnin' thing goes by the wayside - as evidenced here.

This year, Alabama's athletic dept took signing day to a new level - they setup a live webcam stream of the fax machine in the football offices... the only purpose of which was to allow Alabamans a chance to sit and stare at a picture of an inert machine and then watch pieces of paper come out (recruits fax their letters of intent to their school). If this sounds awesome, then you are retarded and should be fired from the job at which you were staring at a picture of a fax machine. I can recreate this experience in living color at my office right here, in fact I can do it in three different rooms with different models of fax machine. I see no reason why anyone would spend time watching a video of a fax machine; it probably saves you about 5 seconds of time seeing a letter come in versus waiting for an intern to pull the piece of paper out and post the news online.

I believe the only logical next move for Alabama is to stream a video of paint drying after they paint a new A on the athletic department wall - and I'm sure the viewership would be high as Alabamans tuned in to see the action. Perhaps they will go with a spring football coverage webcam of the turf in their stadium so that people can watch that green, green grass grow. Oh boy...

Here is the link in case you're interested. I warn you, it's JUST A STUPID FAX MACHINE!!

Who Dat Think the NFL is Greedy?!

For those who missed this story, the NFL has recently come down on several Mom-and-Pop retailers in the New Orleans area who have been printing and selling 'Who Dat?' merchandise ahead of the Saints' appearance in this year's Superbowl. 'Who Dat?' has been a rallying cry for the New Orleans Saints since the early 1980s and now the NFL has peacocked-up to say that it owns the exclusive trademark rights to the phrase and that none may use it without licensing is from them for around one-hundred billion dollars, muahahahaha.

K, not that much, but still - you can imagine what the NFL is asking for the phrase and you can extrapolate that it's way more than a Mom-and-Pop tshirt shop is able to afford. The league has sent out cease and desist notices to New Orleans vendors threatening legal action against anyone who uses the term with the NFL's consent. Basically they are taking away a fan-base's phrase saying that if they want it back, they'll have to pay the NFL to have it one their shirt. As you can guess, Louisiana is not exactly pleased.

U.S. Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana stepped up to the plate yesterday and sent the following letter to National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell protesting the NFL's efforts to claim exclusive rights to the term "Who Dat."



Roger Goodell
CommissionerNational Football League
280 Park Avenue, 15th Floor
New York, NY 10017

Dear Commissioner Goodell:
I was stunned to learn recently that the NFL is taking the position that it owns the exclusive trademark of the term "Who Dat" and has even threatened legal action against some mom-and-pop merchants selling t-shirts using the term. I would urge you to drop this obnoxious and legally unsustainable position and instead agree that "Who Dat" is in the public domain, giving no one exclusive trademark rights.


This letter will also serve as formal legal notice that I am having t-shirts printed that say "WHO DAT say we can't print Who Dat!" for widespread sale in commerce. Please either drop your present ridiculous position or sue me.


"Who Dat" was probably first heard in New Orleans minstrel shows well over 130 years ago. Much more recently, but before it was used in connection with the Saints, it was used as a rallying cry by St. Augustine High School in New Orleans. In the 1980s it was adopted by Saints fans in a completely spontaneous way. Only later did any legal persons, including the Saints and the NFL, try to claim it through registration.


Perhaps more significant than this history, "Who Dat" has become part of New Orleans and Louisiana popular culture. For the NFL to try to claim exclusive ownership of it would be like me registering and trying to claim exclusive ownership of the terms "lagniappe" and "laissez les bons temps rouler!?


Under Paul Tagliabue's leadership, the NFL was an unbelievable partner in helping us recover and rebuild after Hurricane Katrina. Thank you again. We look forward to your dropping your "Who Dat" position so that this partnership can continue without strain or blemish.
Sincerely,

David Vitter
Junior Senator of Who Dat Nation



Suck on that Goodell. I'm pretty happy to see a senator step up like that for his constituents. He actually asks the NFL to sue him if they see fit - which I'm hoping jars the NFL into realizing that they've created a public relations shitstorm or the decade. Suing a US senator who is defending his state is probably not the right move for the league. I hope they come to the realization that they shouldn't be bullying into team markets and taking team's slogans for themsleves in the name of profit. Good on you, David Vitter, way to man up!

If a Pro Bowl is Played in Miami, Does it Make a Sound?

I'm fairly certain that about 100 people showed up to watch the NFL Pro Bowl this past Sunday. With powerhouse QB's like Vince Young, David Gerrard, and Matt Schaub leading the way, the "all-stars" were apparently shown on live TV and radio broadcasts nationwide. Sadly, nobody noticed.

New Orleans Finally Reach the Superbowl

The hopes of an entire state are riding on the New Orleans Saints. The A'ints as they used to be called have been pretty much a laughing stock throughout their whole history. Finally, at long last, they've made it to the big game and left the exclusive club of NFL franchises that have never been in the Superbowl. The only teams left that have never made an appearance are the Browns, Lions, Texans, and Jaguars. The final two can be excused, Cleveland and Detroit are just downright awful and it's hard to see that ever changing. They both have been around since before the inception of the Superbowl itself...

New Orleans fans are quite happy to be off the dubious list of underachieving NFL squads. They follow the Arizona Cardinals who managed to leave the bottom-dwellers squad last season when they played against the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Saints will face off against the Indianapolis Colts on February 7th in Miami.

I actually like the Saints to win the Superbowl. The NFC has been the stronger conference all season with teams from the NFC North and East beating up on their AFC opponents. The Saints have a strong running game with Pierre Thomas and a Warner/Rams-eques passing attack run by Drew Brees. Brees has Marques Colston, Devery Henderson, Robert Meachem, and Lance Moore to choose from - all reliable receivers with a nack for catching anything that comes their way. Along with three solid TE's, New Orleans is looking good this year. While I can't call them "my team", I was born in New Orleans and so I'm taking them under my wing as the Sundayhop personal favorites to win the Superbowl. Go Saints!