The world is apparently shocked today by the news that a killer whale killed someone. Tillikum, a 30-year old Orca who has performed at SeaWorlds almost his whole life, gnashed someone to death... surprisingly? He's been "linked" to two other killings in 1991 and 1999 and implicated, but never charged in another attempted murder in 2006. After the last attack, Tillikum was moved to Seaworld Orlando and renamed from his original monicker, "USS Deathbringer" as this name spooked his trainers.Tillikum is a 12,000 pound whale who has lived in a 35 foot deep tank pretty much his entire life. Even though the whale had killed twice before, Seaworld thought "ya know, what're the real chances of that happening again?!" You can simluate his existence at home by putting a toddler in a bathtub, feeding him nothing but corn and forcing him to stay there night and day. WARNING: Toddle may become upset and try to bite your fingers, pull you under during simulation.
The incident occurred about 2 p.m. Wednesday. Tillikum, had just finished a session with his trainer, who was standing by the side of his pool and leaning over the whale, rubbing his head. Onlookers at SeaWorld were allegedly shocked when the Killer whale reared up and grabbed trainer Dawn Brancheau, 40, pulling her into the tank and thrashing her to death. Those same onlookers were also shocked upon hearing that Steely Dan is not one person and that James Dean was an actor, not the guy who makes sausage. Witnesses said they heard the stadium organist playing the theme to Jaws just before the attack.
PETA, who have been campaigning for year to have people stop using the term 'Killer Whale' and instead call them Orca whales, when reached for comment said, "Oh, yeah, about that.... never mind." Other groups that were unable to be reached for comment include The League of People Who Keep Chimps as Pets and the Grizzly Bear for Petting Zoos Association
0 comments:
Post a Comment