Anna Kendrick = Total Cutie, 'Nuff Said

I went to see the new George Clooney film 'Up in the Air' a week ago. It started out in limited release but has generated enough buzz that people are mentioning it as a best picture contender. I agree, it's timely, smart, depressing, uplifting, and a range of other things over the course of its 1 hour 40 minute run-time. The movie is pretty much carried by the characters of Clooeny, Vera Farmiga, and young Anna Kendrick. The last of which is totally, mouse-ily, girl-next-door-y pretty on a scale not seen since perhaps Kate Beckinsale's debut as a young Brit.

Anna plays Natalie, a Cornell Grad go-getter (maybe I should've gone there after all?) who's invading the corporate world of Omaha, Nebraska. Nebraska certainly sucks, but she followed a boy there who returned the favor by dumping her, what a douchebag - I'll never forgive him for making her go to Nebraska! The whole makeup staff must have spent hours attempting to downplay Kendrick's sexiness and figuring out what smart business suits to put her in. She's got a slightly foreign (think Portuguese gal from Love Actually) look going on that shines through the pant suits. But maybe that's what they were going for: you can take the girl out of the college but not the college out of the girl - as is revealed when Natalie gets smashed and karaoke's Time After Time on a party boat.

Anyway, count Anna added to my list of young hopefuls that I want to make it big. I can overlook the fact that she's in the Twilight series, I don't hate it, just won't buy a ticket to it - her and I can argue about that in private thank you very much. Her role as Natalie in Up In the Air probably gave her a lot more slack to show off her acting skills. I hope her career takes off and we get to see a lot more of her. And I hope that mousey beauty doesn't go anywhere or get covered up by too much makeup!

Mike Leach Is Going, Going, Gone

Mike Leach has been fired as the head football coach at TTU. Texas Tech handed Mike Leach a letter of termination this morning just before a court hearing was to begin regarding Leach's suspension from coaching Tech's upcoming bowl game. Leach was suspended for the duration of an ongoing investigation into his treatment of a player's concussion - meaning he would have missed the Alamo bowl against Michigan State this Saturday. No word on how many fat little girlfriends would be attending the bowl game in his absence.

Mike Leach was seeking a court injunction that would allow him to coach the game regardless of the investigation. However, after being handed Leach's termination notice, Mike's attorneys told the judge that the hearing would not be necessary and they left the courthouse. Leach's attorneys said they planned to file a lawsuit against the school "soon", which is what you do nowadays if anything doesn't go right for you. Asked how he feels, Mike Leach's attorney Ted Ligget said, "well, he's not thrilled." Haha, yeah, no shit Ted!

Leach will most likely sue the school for the $800,000 bonus that he was due on December 31st. In February, Leach and Texas Tech agreed to a five-year, $12.7 million contract. According to terms of the deal, Leach was due the $800k bonus tomorrow if he were still the head coach at Texas Tech; well awww shucks. Ligget believes that Leach will be owed the $800,000 plus will be pursuing the entire $10 million remaining on his contract, as opposed to the $1.6 million Leach would be owed if fired without cause.

The whole commotion started over Leach's reported mistreatment of a player who had suffered a concussion. Adam James, a wideout for Tech, claimed that after he suffered his concussion, Leach "confined him to small, dark spaces while the team practiced." Adam is the son of former NFL player Craig James, who now works as an analyst for ESPN. So for now, before the lawsuit hits the wall, Leach is out of luck.

Ever Wondered What 2009's Top 25 Songs Would Sound Like Mixed Together?

The answer is pretty damn good - but is that a good thing? I came across this pretty sweet video of a remix by DJ Earworm of the top 25 songs of the past year all spliced together into one. The video is also spliced from the respective music videos and makes a pretty good little montage as the song progresses. The entire thing plays along to the basic beats and chord progressions provided by the Black Eyed Peas' "I've Got A Feeling" and "Boom Boom". It's an extremely well-done remix, but it worries me at the same time.

All 25 songs fit nice and neatly into the four-chord progression of "I've Got a Feeling" which means that all the top songs while different lyrically and in tempo (speed) are pretty much simplistic enough to all be mashed together rhythmically. Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" for example shares the exact same chord progressions as the Black Eyed Peas - "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon simplifies it even further by just using only a three-chord progression that also works nicely for this remix. Simple is good... and there are some great songs in the top 25 this year, but really when ALL of them are this simple is that a good thing? Does it reflect peoples' taste in music or does it mean that songwriters are getting lazy? Is it a conscious return to the simple 50's-esque rock and roll song structure or does it reflect the fact today's performers aren't great musicians and today's singers are no longer songwriters too? Who is the next great talent who can write, play, AND sing a song in more than just 4 chords and convince us to love it...

This year's 25 most popular songs:
The Black Eyed Peas - BOOM BOOM POW
Lady Gaga - POKER FACE
Lady Gaga Feat. Colby O'Donis - JUST DANCE
The Black Eyed Peas - I GOTTA FEELING
Taylor Swift - LOVE STORY
Flo Rida - RIGHT ROUND
Jason Mraz - I'M YOURS
Beyonce - SINGLE LADIES (PUT A RING ON IT)
Kanye West - HEARTLESS
The All-American Rejects - GIVES YOU HELL
Taylor Swift - YOU BELONG WITH ME
T.I. Feat. Justin Timberlake - DEAD AND GONE
The Fray - YOU FOUND ME
Kings Of Leon - USE SOMEBODY
Keri Hilson Feat. Kanye West & Ne-Yo - KNOCK YOU DOWN
Jamie Foxx Feat. T-Pain - BLAME IT
Pitbull - I KNOW YOU WANT ME (CALLE OCHO)
T.I. Featuring Rihanna - LIVE YOUR LIFE
Soulja Boy Tell 'em Feat. Sammie - KISS ME THRU THE PHONE
Jay Sean Feat. Lil Wayne - DOWN
Miley Cyrus - THE CLIMB
Drake - BEST I EVER HAD
Kelly Clarkson - MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU
Beyonce - HALO
Katy Perry - HOT N COLD

If Anyone Wants to Get on the Arsenal Bandwagon, I'll Help You Up

Okay, Arsenal has been my favorite premier league team since I lived in England as a child. I love my Gunners. Arsene Wenger has proven to me that he is probably the best coach in the premier league. I make a distinction between a coach and a manager because a manager handles players who know the game in and out or have egos too large to change (think Chelsea). A coach teaches the game, mentors young players and developes them into superstars - and he manages the personnel egos too. Wenger has one of the youngest squads year in and year out partially becuase Arsenal can't afford to bring in established stars and becuase he is such a good coach that they have confidence to do it with young players. He brings up players like Cesc Fabregas and Robin Van Persie and turns them into stars - and he has a lot of success at it.

Arsenal now sits in third place in the Premier League table after a 3-0 victory this past weekend. They also have played one less game than the two teams in front of them (Chelsea and Man U) and are only four points behind Chelsea. This means that with a game in hand, a victory moves them within one point of first place.

The only real problem with Arsenal is that their youth have trouble with consistency and therefore trouble with claiming cups year in and year out. They are a perpetually third or fourth place team, which is kinda like rooting for the Dodgers in baseball - they never quite make it, but their fans love them anyway. That's my gripe anyway - they never quite have enough to win the premier league. But they labor on anyway.

This year gives me a lot of hope though. Wenger has his team in a great position for the halfway mark of the season - third place on the table and their best football still ahead of them. A bunch of players have just come off injuries which held them out of the first half; players like Fabregas and Theo Walcott are getting their stride back after several weeks out, and the team is starting to gel at just the right time. I expect great things for the Spring and there is a chance that Arsenal come from the outside to grab the Premier League title! So if you want on board the Gunners' bandwagon, come on up, I'll lend you a hand.

Urban Update - Meyer Now Considering Return After Leave of Absence

Urban Meyer is now back-pedaling on the announcement made yesterday that he was retiring from the Florida Gators. The word now out of Gainsville is that Urban will take an indefinite leave of absence and then return to the head coaching position. Nobody has indicated how long of a leave Urban will take, but expect it to be at least one full season.

What this of course means is that the Florida boosters rallied last night and put together a massive incentive package for Urban to return to the Gators. He's obviously a great coach, but he seemed pretty set in his statements yesterday - so the sum they offered him must be pretty substantial. I imagine they put together a bonus package up front, incentives to return, probably a nice raise, and some other sweet add-ons.

Urban is schedule to make statements regarding his status with the Gators at 4:30 pm EST. If Urban isn't coming back, Mark Mangino is always available and has been dying to get a job at a southern school so he has easier access to deep fried foods.

Urban Meyer Leaving Florida Gators

Urban Meyer has decided to step down as the Florida Gators' head coach following their upcoming Sugar Bowl appearance. Meyer's last game at the helm will be on January 1st against Cinncinnati, after which he will leave coaching to focus on his "Health and family."

Florida Athletic director, Jeremy Foley, announced the news in a press release on Saturday afternoon. "Coach Meyer and I have talked this through and I realize how hard this was for him to reach this decision," Foley said. "But, the bottom line is that Coach Meyer needed to make a choice that is in the best interest of his well being and his family. I certainly appreciate what he has meant to the University of Florida, our football program and the Gator Nation. I have never seen anyone more committed to his players, his family and his program. Above all, I appreciate our friendship."

Urban Meyer released his own statement regarding his retirement saying that he had spent his coaching years focused on being the best coach he could be. In that time, he said, he had ignored his health and to some extent, his family. "I have given my heart and soul to coaching college football and mentoring young men for the last 24-plus years and I have dedicated most of my waking moments the last five years to the Gator football program," Meyer said. "I have ignored my health for years, but recent developments have forced me to reevaluate my priorities of faith and family.

Urban will leave Florida after winning two national championships and coaching up Heisman Trophy-winning QB, Tim Tebow for four years. He went 56-10 at Florida in five seasons and was 32-8 in the SEC.

All Bets Are Off - Pacquiao v Mayweather On Hold

Shortly after I wrote about the biggest fight of the last decade being "a done deal" it had to fall apart, right? I guess when people say it's a sure thing, it's not really a sure thing until the signatures are put to the bottom of the page. As is the case with the Manny Pacquiao versus Floyd Mayweather fight, which broke down earlier this week over the disputed drug testing procedures.

Mayweather's camp was demanding that PacMan submit to random drug testing by means of blood-taking, all the way up to the fight next spring. Pacquiao agreed to be randomly blood tested up to 30 days until the fight and immediately after the fight. This wasn't good enough for Mayweather's negotiators and so the plug was pulled. Now, this is both suspect on Manny's part and a little bit understandable. Pacquiao agreed to be tested up until 30 days prior to fight night and immediately after the fight - and anytime through urine samples - but didn't want to be tested within 30 days for both superstitious and physical performance reasons. Pacquiao didn't want to be giving blood when it would weaken him and his training regimen. He also doesn't like giving blood apparently because of Filipino superstitions - of which I have no knowledge.

The Nevada Boxing Commission requires random urine samples but no blood tests. Mayweather wanted to use Olympic boxing standards where blood samples can be taken randomly, at any time, right up until the fight. PacMan's refusal makes one stop and wonder if he's doing something illegal just because that's what we're trained to question in this age. However, I get it, I don't like giving blood, I feel weak and tired after any blood work is done on me. But I, like everyone else out there, now has to wonder if Manny has something to hide... damn you Mayweather!

I'm really upset that this fight isn't going through. I'm hopeful that some resolution can be come to. Like, finish the fight then immediately be there to test Manny in the ring afterwards - it'll be really easy if he's already unconscious on the mat. Mayweather's people have said they are concerned about masking agents being used by Pacquiao, but really if the guy will do it up to 30 days before the fight and immediately after the fight, is that really not good enough? I think it's just a couple "representatives" of these fighters who are being selfish jerks and keeping their guys plus the whole world on the side burner while they sort out their personal battles between one another. Let's get this fight on already!

Pacquiao vs. Mayweather Reportedly a Done Deal

Sources close to the Pacquiao/Mayweather negotiations have claimed that the fight is a done deal, ready to be signed off by both parties shortly, with all principle agreements in place. Those same sources say that the negotiation parameters, including a 50-50 financial split, competition at the 147-pound limit, eight-ounce gloves, and an Olympic-style random drug test at the request of Mayweather's camp were all agreed to. When asked about the venue, following recent rumors that negotiations were falling apart over whether to hold the bout at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas or the Cowboys' new stadium in Dallas, the source said, "It's the MGM. It's definite."

This is huge news for boxing fans everywhere as well as for the average observer. Pacquiao/Mayweather will surely be one of the biggest fights of this generation. The buzz being generated around the match is sure to lead to one of the biggest pay-per-view events ever. Pacquiao (50-3-2, 38 knockouts) and Mayweather (40-0, 25 KOs) are both long-reining champions, Pac-man with seven belts, Mayweather with five. The match is slated for March 13th in the MGM Grand Garden Arena.

Pacquiao has been on a tear recently, moving through oppoenents as easily as he moves weight classes. His victories over Oscar De La Hoya, Ricky Hatton, and Miguel Cotto have established him as the top pound-for-pound fighter in the world right now, however Mayweather's unbeaten record adds intrigue. Several years ago, Mayweather would have been considered a clear favorite - Pacquiao was 1-1-1 at the MGM before his recent string of victories over the past year. Mayweather, having never been beaten, "retired" from the sport before word of Pacquiao's feats reached him. Mayweather returned to defeat Manuel Marquez - one of the men who has downed Pacquiao before - and was clearly set on a collision course with Pacquiao.

Tiger Woods Gets Divorced From Accenture, GM, Gillette, Wife, Wait What?!

A source close to Elin Nordegren has disclosed to ABCNews that Elin is seeking a divorce from Tiger Woods. The source said, "divorce is 100 percent on." Annnnnnd BOOM goes the dynamite. Of course with the paparazzi on her trail constantly, things have been pointed out like the fact that she was pumping gas sans wedding ring recently. This is Tiger's fourth divorce in the last week when you add in sponsors Accenture, GM, and Gillette all ending or otherwise ceasing to use Tiger Wood's promotional material. Elin will probably walk away with half of Tiger's shit and both their kids - no word yet on who gets the busted up GMC or warehouse of Gatorade.

Tiger's play time just got real. He's facing the possibility of losing his 2-year old and 10-month sons if a divorce went through as well as even more endorsement money, half his net worth, and a smoking-hot Scandanavian wife. The good news is that he is Tiger Woods - hence why he had 10+ babes strategically positioned around the world at his beck and call. I'm sure Tiger's little black book isn't suffereing for lack of entries. Inside the cover is an inscription saying "delivered hot and fresh to your door in under 30 minutes." But still, it's gotta suck to know you've blown your whole life wide open and have nobody to blame but yourself...and of course "little Tiger". Five years of marriage down the drain along with half your stuff - I think Elin will probably leave him the Nintendo Wii, cause he's going to be playing with himself A LOT.

Tiger's whole downfall began when he rammed his SUV into a fire hydrant and tree only a hundred yards from his house - his shortest drive ever. People specualted that the reason he crashed was that Elin was running alongside the car with a 5-iron, smashing out the windows and basically trying to kill Tiger. This happened at 2:30 AM on Thanksgiving, but is not unusual becuase Elin often goes "clubbing" late at night. Hahaha, I crack myself up. Then a bevy of women were fingered for their connections to Tiger, many of them confirming including a Vegas promoter, talent-less actress, and pornstar. Tiger announced his "infidelities" along with a break from playing golf for an undisclosed amount of time while he worked to fix his marriage. Well, I guess breaks over! Now some more hot pictures of what Tiger's losing:

Here's the story on ESPN.

Turner Gill's Winning % is .400, Mangino Weighs 400, So There's Some Symmetry For Ya

The University of Kansas recently replaced head football coach, Mark Mangino, with former Cornhusker QB and Buffalo head coach, Turner Gill last week. The Mangiant was under fire in recent months for talking some mean shit to his players as well as alledgedly striking or threatening them. Mangino, who as far as I know has not yet died from cardiac arrest, was let go partially because of the scandal and partially because his team peaked two years ago and is on the way back down into the basement of the Big XII. Also, Mangino's 24/7 chartering of golf cart transportation for himself was starting to 'weigh' on the school's athletic dept. budget.

When asked if Turner Gill was coming to Kansas on the stepping stone to a bigger, better job, he replied, "I've been asked if I'm taking this job to get to another program. The answer to that is a very decisive no." By this Gill, of course means, "yes, of course your morons!" Lawrence is still the nicest tow in Kansas (I really mean that), but to be fair, it's still fuckin' Kansas. Gill obviously views this as a stepping stone away from Buffalo (which I hear is snowy, cold balls) through Kansas on his way to greener pastures.

With the announcement that Mangino was being fired, the Lawrence locations of the Honey Baked Ham Company, Arby's and Dunkin' Donuts immediately announced indefinite closures. "We can no longer sustain a profitable franchise in the town of Lawrence, Kansas," said Arby's shift manager Cleetus Dinger, "I let all my employees know yesterday not to come back in, it's a sad day."

The 47-year-old Gill was 20-30 in four seasons at Buffalo, a program thatbeen nothing but a bottom feeder for years. Their predicament was not unlike the Jayhawks during most of the past 40 years in the Big Eight/Big XII. Now the Jayhakws are pinning their hopes to a former Nebraska option QB who interviewed last season for the Cornhusker opening that eventually went to Bo Pelini. Turner will have a rough start ahead of him with the Jayhawk's QB Todd Reesing and both starting WR's leaving to graduation.

RIP Fat John Daly, Wish I Could Still Blog About Your Ridiculousness

Fat, crazy, drunk, ridiculous John Daly died around this time last year, when - after drunkenly being tossed out of a North Carolina Hooters - he resolved to clean up his act, lose some weight, and get his game back. Daly was also suspended by the PGA for six months after smashing a fan's camera during an event in Australia. No wonder we haven't heard about Daly's misadventures and public embarassments for the past year! Crazy John is dead and gone, and is replaced by new John Daly. Sadly we must all be witness to the passing of living-on-the-edge, Ted-Nugent-esque Daly.

Spurred by his suspension from the PGA tour, John had a lap-band surgery and managed to drop well over 100 pounds. He cleaned up his drinking and is even writing a book. Apparently he's also pitching his life story (drunken craziness, four ex-wives, and lots of trips to hooters) as a movie in Hollywood right now. Daly recommended his pal, Kevin James for the "before" version and said for after, "I just saw Matt Damon, how he swung a golf club, and I thought if I ever made the movie, I want him to be me."

Now Daly is back and playing pretty well! He made the cut at the last British Open when Tiger didn't. He's calm, collected, and even candid about the whole Tiger Woods situation: "I'm not too happy with what some of the players have said. Without him our tour would not survive as what it is when Tiger plays."

We won't see any more camera-smashing, club-breaking, or storming off the course behavior from John though. His turning of a new leaf means we don't get to read about altercations at Hooters or any drunken clubhouse/parking lot shenanigans. Sad for the press, but great for John.

Ever Imagine What a Michael Bay Victoria's Secret Ad Would Be Like?

Would Michael go full-Bay or hold back on the throttle a little bit? Would there be a constant building of melodramatic music as pushed-up breasts and firm, nubile butts bounce cheerfully past your face... or would he go for tasteful presentation of the product while subtle music serenaded your ears?

Wonder no more, Michael Bay's Victoria's Secret debut is here! Oh and by the way, TASTEFUL AND SUBTLE AIN'T IN MICHAEL BAY'S VOCABULARY, SO SUCK ON THAT BITCH! BOOM! The director of such timeless classics as Transformers, Transformers 2, and coming soon, Transformers 3, has once again crossed over to TV ads; lending his artistic hand to bra sales. By artistic I mean cleavage closeups with seizure-enducing strobe lights pulsing while lingerie'd-up babes strut through deserts and massive explosions erupt in the background.

Even though this isn't a feature film, this Victoria's Secret ad is classic Bay: little-to-no dialogue, no apparent plot line or story, boobs everywhere, deserts, explosions, asses, inexplicable soudntrack, bewildering lighting choices, and then some more boobs. I hope you enjoy!

Roll Tide! We Don't Have Much Use For Dat Der Book-Learnin'

On the first page of Alabama's football media guide it says "At some places, they play football... At Alabama, we live it." This is why class is cancelled over three days for the BCS Championship game.

In The Wedding Crashers, we are taught that Football and Crabcakes is what Maryland does, bitch. In Alabama we now know they do football and barely functional members of society. Therefore, Alabama has no hesistations in canceling classes for all students and professors from January 6-8 so that people can travel to Pasadena for the national championship game where the Crimson Tide will take on the Texas Longhorns. I can only imagine that all the Bama fans will be piling on school busses and driving to California for the game, because that's how Bama does transportation, bitch! (Each bus will be assigned a banjo player for in-drive entertainment)

They literally just up and cancelled three days of class on the safe assumption that everyone who goes to the University of Alabama (all 22,000+) cares more about football than schoolin'. Sure it's the BCS championship that gives a trophy meant to signify a national champion (even though the game doesn't really decide the champ). But aren't there kids who are paying good enrollment money and who dont' care about football? I know not every student goes to a school because it's a football school. I guess they get three days off class without reimbursement so they can go to the Cracker Barrel and wait around for everyone to come back. (I think Cracker Barrel provides banjo players for entertainment as well - only in Alabama of course) Here is the ESPN story.

Notre Dame to Interview Lucky the Leprechaun for Head Coaching Vacancy

According to sources, Lucky the Leprechaun has been tapped to interview for the head football coaching job at Notre Dame. Charlie Weis was recently ousted after five lack-luster years in South Bend, IN. Weis, an alum of the school, quickly began underperforming following the graduation of Brady Quinn's class of players - a class that was recruited by Charlie's predecessor, Tyrone Willingham. Lucky, also know as L.C. Leprechaun and Sir Charms, was born in 1963 in Minnesota and has spent most of his career in America's heartland. Lucky is now considered the front-runner for the position.

Lucky comes from an Irish Catholic background, so he already fits Notre Dame in that regard. He's a consistently bright and optimistic character who's never afraid to have a good laugh, making him a stark opposite to Weis who was stone-faced most game days. He fits with the Notre Dame brand as he wears attire in line with both the logo and mascot of the Fight Irish. In a program that has been lifeless for many years, someone like Sir Charms would bring some enthusiasm to the table for sure.

He's proven himself as a guy who can build a brand over decades and keep it at the top of its game. He reinvented a dying brand at Lucky Charms and through innovative ideas such as "marbits", Lucky secured the future of the brand by revitalizing the product. Marbits are, of course, the colorful marshmallow shapes that are now expected and loved in Lucky Charms. Notre Dame is interviewing him in the hopes that he can revive their on-the-field product too. If he can pump new marbit-like life into the dying football program, Notre Dame could once again rise to the top. At this point, the Fighting Irish will try pretty much anything!

If Only The Gators Had Some Drink to Keep Meyer From Getting Dehydrated...

Florida Gators coach, Urban Meyer, admitted himself into Shands Medical Center in Gainesville, FL, early Sunday morning and was treated for dehydration. This development happened only a few short hours after the Gators lost to Alabama in the SEC title game held in Atlanta. The Gators fell to the Tide 32-13 in a battle of number 1 versus number 2 in the BCS standings. The game was effectively a national championship game a few weeks early. The loss snaps Florida's 22-game winning streak and send the Crimson Tide through to the NC game in January.

Urban was treated and then released around 2pm Sunday afternoon. He was hospitalized shortly after returning from the Georgia dome in Atlanta with the team. The whole hullabaloo could have been avoided if only the Gators had some sort of supplement beverage that could combat dehydration.

This supplement would have to be something that could replace the electrolytes that are lost during strenuous activities. It would have to be something that replaced fluids while getting your muscles the carbohydrates that they need. Something that refreshes and tastes good at the same time. But what could that drink be? How can we hope to prevent Urban Meyer's dehydration without the proper tools at the Gators' disposal! How long will Meyer continue to be hospitalized with bouts of dehydration?! WON'T ANYBODY DO SOMETHING?! Read more about Urban's plight here.

Bobby Bowden Coming Out of Retirement to Play QB For Mangini

Only hours after announcing that he is retiring as Florida State's head coach, Bobby Bowden announced that Eric Mangini has coaxed him out of retirement to play Quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. Bowden's retirement from 44 years of coaching lasted only six hours. Bowden said that he was swayed by Mangini's overtures and claimed that Mangini sealed the deal by, "promising to name his second-born son 'Bobby' Mangini since his first son was already named 'Brett' or something..."

Bobby Bowden is the second winningest (that's a dumb word) college football coach of all time behind only JoePa at Penn State. He leaves the NCAA with 388 head coaching wins, many of those coming at FSU where he amassed a 152-19-1 record over his 34 seasons leading the Seminoles. Bowden had great success at Florida State with 14 straight years finishing in the top five of the BCS from 1987-2000. The next closest team to that mark is USC under Pete Carroll who managed seven straight finishes in the top five this decade, but that streak was ended this year and was only halfway to what Bowden accomplished.

Eric Mangini and the Cleveland Browns on the other hand just plain suck. They have flip-flopped between QB's Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn all season, neither one able to put together a string of good performances. Quinn lit up the Detroit Lions a couple weeks back, but c'mon, it's the Detroit Lions... Anderson on the other hand has lived dangerously, winning games by going 2/17 passing for 23 yards as he did in a win against Buffalo this season. Despite these two big wins for the Browns, Cleveland has had somewhat of a dismal season, SURPRISE! Seeing no other recourse, Mangini once again went fishing for recent retirees to bring in to play QB - Bobby Bowden was the winningest retiree on the market.

Mangini alledgedly lured Bowden out of retirement by not only naming his second-born son after Bobby, but by offering Bobby unlimited pure-oxygen tanks, a free Cadillac DeVille, a comprehensive dental and dencher plan, and as many pink flamingo lawn ornaments as Bobby wants. "Bobby is going to come make a difference in Cleveland," said Mangini, "He's a proven winner and when I saw he was retiring, I promised myself that we would be the ones to lure him back." Mangini told the AP that if Bowden's first week of practice goes well, he will be the starter this Sunday.

Mangini added, "I know im getting typecast as the guy who brings QB's out of retirement, but look at Favre now. If it hadn't have been for me he'd be living in a Wrangler jeans commercial instead of vying for a superbowl. Bobby Bowden just retired, and I jumped on him first chance I got! He's going to be this year's retirement comeback story, next season, I'm expecting a superbowl for Cleveland!"