Turner Gill's Winning % is .400, Mangino Weighs 400, So There's Some Symmetry For Ya

The University of Kansas recently replaced head football coach, Mark Mangino, with former Cornhusker QB and Buffalo head coach, Turner Gill last week. The Mangiant was under fire in recent months for talking some mean shit to his players as well as alledgedly striking or threatening them. Mangino, who as far as I know has not yet died from cardiac arrest, was let go partially because of the scandal and partially because his team peaked two years ago and is on the way back down into the basement of the Big XII. Also, Mangino's 24/7 chartering of golf cart transportation for himself was starting to 'weigh' on the school's athletic dept. budget.

When asked if Turner Gill was coming to Kansas on the stepping stone to a bigger, better job, he replied, "I've been asked if I'm taking this job to get to another program. The answer to that is a very decisive no." By this Gill, of course means, "yes, of course your morons!" Lawrence is still the nicest tow in Kansas (I really mean that), but to be fair, it's still fuckin' Kansas. Gill obviously views this as a stepping stone away from Buffalo (which I hear is snowy, cold balls) through Kansas on his way to greener pastures.

With the announcement that Mangino was being fired, the Lawrence locations of the Honey Baked Ham Company, Arby's and Dunkin' Donuts immediately announced indefinite closures. "We can no longer sustain a profitable franchise in the town of Lawrence, Kansas," said Arby's shift manager Cleetus Dinger, "I let all my employees know yesterday not to come back in, it's a sad day."

The 47-year-old Gill was 20-30 in four seasons at Buffalo, a program thatbeen nothing but a bottom feeder for years. Their predicament was not unlike the Jayhawks during most of the past 40 years in the Big Eight/Big XII. Now the Jayhakws are pinning their hopes to a former Nebraska option QB who interviewed last season for the Cornhusker opening that eventually went to Bo Pelini. Turner will have a rough start ahead of him with the Jayhawk's QB Todd Reesing and both starting WR's leaving to graduation.