Tila Tequila Files Suit Against Merriman, Calls Him Doodyhead

Reality "star", Tila Tequila has filed suit against linebacker, Shawne Merriman over an alleged assault that took place back in September. Tequila says she was attempting to leave Merriman's house when the San Diego Charger grabbed her by the throat and threw a bitch to the ground. Merriman was arrested, then released when a judge told Tila, "yo ass must be crazy!" Now Tila is back for blood, seeking damages for assault, battery, false imprisonment and emotional distress. So who you got winning this matchup?

Tile Tequila :Name: Shawne Merriman

4'11", 95 lbs. :Size: 6'4", 265 lbs

Loves vaginas and penises equally :Famous For: San Diego Chargers linebacker

Vietnam :From: South-Central

Alcohol, Twitter :Known Weaknesses: Asian bitches

Being naked, annoying :Strengths: Destroying Denver Broncos

Breasts :Source of Power: Faux-hawk

Filibuster :Finishing Move: Choke slam

TMZ :Known Enemies: AFC West

Hummer limo hot tub :Last Known Location: medical marajuana shop

More on the lawsuit here.