Matt Dillon Arrested For Speeding

When I first saw this headline "Matt Dillon charged with speeding" I definitely wasn't thinking about a traffic violation. Look at his face, I am surprised he wasn't doing drugs or was caught with drugs in the car. Apparently Dillon was going 116 mph in a 65 zone. He could face up to 3 months in jail and 300 dollars in fines. 

Dillon is famous for my favorite movie scene of all time when he had a threesome with babe at the time Denise Richards and that other girl. Ok ok I do know her name it was Neve something but she wasn't showing off perfect jugs so she doesn't get mentioned. There is no way a loser teacher like Dillon in that movie could hook up w/ 2 babes like that at the same time. Richards has since fallen off in the past few years spending most of her time on her knees looking for work. After her highly publicized divorce to superpimp Charlie Sheen she fell apart and came out with a crappy television show. Although she will never be a star again, I will never forget not being able to stand up for an hour after that scene. 

Olympic Twins Go Down Smooth...Yum (10 of 10!)

What better way than to cap off the year and the ten olympic hotties of 2008 than with identical twins from Brazil? Branca Feres & Bia Feres are Brazilian synchronized swimmers who competed at the Beijing Olympics in 2008. For some reason, despite being smoking hot, they decided to take up a "sport" that involves them being underwater the entire time. Couldn't they have gotten into beach volleyball or gymnastics or stripping instead?!

But alas, they chose to perform a sport that requires one to be an amazing swimmer and be able to hold one's breath as long as a Navy SEAL. I would probably drown immediately if I attempted synchronized underwater dancing. I'd have to use some water wings... Or I could have Branca and Bia as my flotation devices; one on each arm, holding me afloat! That would probably be the safest method for me.

I don't know how good they are in the pool, but they make me want to get into synchronized swimming a bit! They could flop around like Salmon in a bear's mouth and I would still whistle and clap. I award them the gold medal in the "schwing" competition.

The twins of course do copious amounts of modeling shoots. They of course only do this as the ambassadors of a misunderstood sport. They are trying to bring this aged event to a new generation through their ridiculous good looks, i think. Bringing synchronized swimming to the mainstream through bikinis and gratuitous ass shots, well, who am I to argue with that? I'm all for Olympic games being recognized more often than every four years. If the Brazilian synchronized swimming team is competing on ESPN the Ocho then I'll be on a couch somewhere glued to the screen.

Shanahan is No Longer Denver's Man...ahan...

Mike Shanahan is out as the coach of the Denver Bronco's. Mike was given the boot by team owner, Pat Bowlen on Tuesday afternoon. Bowlen announced in a statement, "After giving this careful consideration, I have concluded that a change in our football operations is in the best interests of the Denver Broncos."

This announcement means that every single sports writer in the Denver area needs to immediately claim that they were wrong about Shanahan's job security and Bowlen's incompetence as an owner. Everyone thought that Pat wouldn't have the balls to hand Shanahan the pink slip, but they were all wrong.

I guess Bowlen does care about the Broncos not making the playoffs for the third straight year. The Broncos made history by losing three straight games to exclude themselves from the NFL post season. They had it in the bag until they got obliterated by the Chargers on Sunday. Combined with losses to the hapless Chiefs and pathetic Raiders by a combined 7 touchdowns, the Bronco's wrote their own fate. Who would argue that this team deserved to be in the playoffs.

The Donkey's will have to overhaul a incompetent defense as well as improve their offensive creativity in order to win again. Shanahan being out might pave the way to a younger, fresher coach with the ability to adapt and dynamically change the offensive and defensive schemes throughout the season so other teams don't figure Denver out half way through.

Olympic Crush 9 of 10: Ana Ivanovic spanks it

Time to continue with my Olympic Crushes! Here's a little lady that can keep anyone warm in the deep of winter: Ana Ivanovic. This 20-year-old hottie won the French Open in 2008, her first grand slam. Shortly after she became the #1 ranked female tennis player in the world, the first Serbian lady to receive that honor. Ana has a girl-next-door-ish innocence about her, yet she could probably still pound a tennis ball hard enough that it would hit my in the face and knock me out. She is definitely a hottie, so much so that the President of Serbia, Boris Tadic, attended her 20th birthday party to oggle her. And just to reconfirm that, Ana won the tennisreporters.net Sexiest Female Player award for the last four straight years (2005-2008). In what other sport can you four-peat the sexy award over the likes of Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova?!

In a sport packed with hot female players, Ivanovic is the cream of the crop. She stood up to stiff competition and overcame to record sexiest player wins four years in a row, beginning in 2005. Of course, that means that she was first given the title when she was 16. This makes all the people at tennisreporters.net pervs... but I'm going to allow it by judges ruling!

Ana and Maria will forever battle in my head for that sexiest tennis player title for women who are actually good at tennis. Anna Kournikova is just hot, plain and simple, however I think at this point I could take her in a singles match. Ana Ivanovic would simply obliterate me, as would Sharapova. Hats off to the eastern European nations who provide us with such hot-tastic tennis players! I would play one-on-one with any of them, who am I to be picky?!

Eagles Embarrass Cowboys

What happened to the Dallas Cowboys this year? Before the season started I thought they were far and away the best team in the NFL; and they looked like it early on in the season. They were absolutely spanked today while playing the Eagles. Tony Romo looked lost out there and their defense was slow and uninspired. It was just a hard game to watch for me. America's team just fell apart right before my eyes this year.

Tony Romo once again was trying to force the ball to Witten all game long. Witten looked like a beaten and battered football player. He was a shadow of the player he was earlier in the year. They also failed to effectively run the ball. Marion Barber sitting on the sidelines really hurts this team (along with his fumble) and puts too much pressure on Romo. Tashard Choice isn't gonna get it done for this team with only 56 yards rushing on the day.

I can't wait for Jerry Jones' response to the loss today. The were showing shots of him up in the booth and he looked pissed. In my opinion he plays too much of a role in that locker room but it is still entertaining to watch.

Lions Run The Table.....Backward

The Lions losing their final game on Sunday is a perfect end to the perfect season. As a listener to the Jim Rome program I have been following the Lions all year and rooting for them to run the table backwards. It is Jim Rome's life long dream to see a team go 0-16 and he knew the Lions gave him the best chance to have that dream realized. The Lions didn't disappoint; although their finale game was a close one, no one will remember how close it was.

Can you blame the Lions for not being able to beat other teams? This is the National Football League. The teams in the NFL are so strong and any team can win on any given week given the talent on each team. The Lions are far and away the worst talented team in the NFL. Over the past few years they have picked up the best WR in the draft every year but they refuse to pick up a quarterback to throw to them. They also have done nothing to improve their offensive line to protect their shitty quarterbacks. The Lions weren't playing with a full deck this year and this comes as no surprise.

I had a feeling they were going to have a horrible season when Dan Orlovsky sacked himself by running out of the back of the endzone while rolling out for a pass. It is probably the dumbest play I have ever seen. Minnesota's LB Jared Allen was about 5 yards away when Orlovsky freaked out and ran out of the back of the endzone. Allen then proceeded to point and laugh, like the rest of the country. Good job Lions, you are the worst team in football history.

The Golden Boy To Be Married..

It was reported today that Tom Brady and long time girl friend Gisele Bundchen are engaged to be married. As a man you would think that I would be disappointed that Gisele is going to be off the market but it is my boy Tom Brady that I am shedding a tear over.

Tom Brady a long time bachelor and absolute pimp, will no longer be knocking chicks up and then leaving them during their pregnancy. He didn't knock up any old chick either. He impregnated Bridget Moynahan and once she had a bun in the oven, he knew he needed to find someone new.

I am hoping this marriage doesn't last long and Brady ends up a bachelor once again. Every time I have seen Gisele do an interview she seems like an absolute bitch. In this years July issue of GQ magazine the interviewer asked,

You're a worldly supermodel; he's an athlete from San Mateo, California. Are you teaching him about things like Riesling and seviche and langoustines? Your questions are funny. Look, all I'm saying is I'm not teaching anybody anything. Everybody learns from traveling. I think we all do. I really don't know how to answer that question. I'm sorry.

She also continued to say that she had never been proposed too before. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to marry Gisele. She started off every answer in her interview with "Look,". Someone should tell her that when a women explains something to you and says, "Look," it is never polite.

Look Gisele, Tom is too good for you. He should be dating women like you and then when he gets sick of you he should drop you in the gutter like a Colorado State degree. Tom Brady and Joe Montana should stay single and just pull ass the rest of their lives. The only question they need to "pop" is, "what are you still doing here?"

Billy Mays here, for Oxi..I mean, ESPN360.com

ESPN teamed up with Billy Mays (pusher of everything ever sold on TV) to create some pretty hilarious spots for their new ESPN360 online service. Mays is famous of course for OxiClean, the all around stain remover that works naturally. Some of you may remember him from Kaboom!, OrangeGlo, or Orange Clean. He's just the announcer-on-redbull that ESPN needed.
Mays and ESPN teamed up on some parodies of his infomercials, this time pushing the new streaming online service from ESPN.com, ESPN360.com. Mays yells like Samuel L Jackson fighting snakes, preaching bible verses, or having polite conversation with Kevin Spacey. Billy really knows how to get his voice stuck in your head and make you want to basically do whatever he tell you. He's like my monotone principal from kindergarten, I just cringe and pay attention, then follow his instructions.

The four spots that ESPN created are really pretty funny. Mays lays out the advantages to using ESPN360.com in a way we can all understand! He even tells us that the "secret" is in the cable, which brings sports through our wall and into the back of our computers!

There are four parodies in all, here is a quick sample, and I've linked the rest below, enjoy:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0MQzgd_cfw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lftTkFacM3I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWPwrIVk6v4

Burger King Would Like to Share Their Musk With You

Burger King wants you to smell like "America's love of the Whopper". I'm not sure what the smell of America's love is, but they also threw in a hint of flame-broiled meat to finish off the fragrance. Now you can go out to the clubs and bars knowing that you smell as if you just got off an 8 hour shift in front of a deep fryer. Flame by BK retails for $3.99 at Ricky's NYC and I have to assume some BK locations as well. This is their sales pitch:

"The WHOPPER® sandwich is America’s Favorite burger. FLAME™ by BK® captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat."

I don't know how the ladies would feel about this. It could either be the most ingenious thing ever or the dumbest possible scent one could spray on. Do I really want to show up to a bar smelling like a Whopper? I finish my shift at Burger King, quickly throw aside my apron and hair net, don my overcoat and off to woo the ladies! Who wouldn't go for a burger flipper in slacks, smelling oh so yummy.

Then again, at the end of the night, who isn't hungry?! Wouldn't every girl in that bar, now drunker than Gary Busey is every day, want to jump on the burger train before heading home? Is this just the edge I need with my flame-broiled musk to swoop in and seduce those hungry bitches? Who am I to decide what kind of meat they are hungry for?

Now maybe a girl will let me put my hamburger in her bun, heh heh. She can "Have it Her Way" all night long.

Guy Throws Shoes at Bush

This is pretty funny because our commander in chief is an excellent dodger. After the first shoe is thrown Bush looks at this guys like...."is that all you got?" The smile never left Bush's face as he dodged the second shoe. One thing is certain, John Kerry would have worn that shoe in the face.

Sean Avery Gets The Boot

I don't know much about Sean Avery or his previous antics with the Dallas Stars but it doesn't matter anymore. Sean Avery was kicked off the Stars this weekend after his "sloppy seconds" comment that he made a couple weeks ago. I thought the suspension was pretty harsh for those comments but now he has been kicked out. This situation seems to me that they were just trying to get rid of this guy. A pretty smart move for a team that has aspirations to make the playoffs this year. Usually good players get a pass for off the field/ice antics like this because their team can't afford to not have them on the field, but that isn't the case here. 

Finally a team that cares more about their image than winning. It is actually a breath of fresh air. GM Brett Hull and Mike Modono said that Avery "tarnished" the Stars. There is no place for a person like this in the locker room. These guys are cutting out the cancer before it can affect the rest of the team. 

Another team will pick up Avery eventually because he is too good to not have on the ice. But who ever signs him will be making a deal with the devil. He will have off the ice problems that that franchise will constantly be dealing with. 

Sam Bradford Wins Heisman McCoy Gets Screwed Again

There is nothing better than seeing Texas Quarterback Colt McCoy get screwed over time and time again. It was shoddy defense not McCoy's play that lost them the Texas Tech game with only seconds to play. McCoy was the reason Texas beat Oklahoma in their epic showdown earlier this year during the Red River game. After beating Oklahoma you would think McCoy's team would have been a shoe-in for the Big 12 championship game and the impending BCS championship game. But due to the BCS system (possibly the best system ever) McCoy's Texas lost out on the Big 12 championship game and the national title game.

Not 2 weeks later McCoy was sitting there watching his Oklahoma counterpart accept HIS Heisman trophy in New York. No one did more for their team than Colt McCoy this year but it wasn't enough. McCoy had fewer weapons on offense than Bradford but that didn't matter to the voters.

You have to wonder who would have won it if the BCS would have spit out Texas ahead of Oklahoma. Who would have won the Heisman? McCoy's name almost disappeared from the conversation once the national title game was set. It seemed as if every one was voting for Tebow and Bradford because their teams were playing for all the marbles. The BCS is not perfect, but it is the best way to screw over Colt McCoy so I am ok with it.

Olympic Crush 8 of 10: Fatima Moreira de Melo

Fatima Moreira de Melo is why field hockey is a spectator sport. She whacks balls with the best national team in the world, Holland. She's only barely the best looking on that team too. The dutch team took the 2008 gold medal in women's field hockey in the Beijing Olympics this past fall. They defeated China 2-0 in the final match.

We all know that if you search on Scandinavian teams you're bound to find some of the hottest, fittest, blondest, most blue-eyed girls you've ever come accross. De Melo falls just outside Scandinavia but I'm going to let her be an honorary member of that group. She plays at the striker position and I know from personal experience that she's quite the ball-handler, if you know what i mean... Okay, so not first-hand experience, but I have this friend who said she can really whack it good... Okay, so I dont have a friend who said that, but you can imagine what it would be like, right?

Fatima has appeared in 191 international matches and has over 30 goals to her name. Not bad for one of the lowest scoring sports in the world. Her striking looks might work to distract some of the more butch goalies for sho!

New "Big Three" Ad

Not a real ad, but pretty funny! (Click picture to read the small print)

Leryn Franco Chucks Spears

Leryn Franco is like an olympic Uber-babe. I let me top ten list of hot olympic athletes die out around number 7 (also Leryn), so I figured what the hell, I should finish up, but here is a refresher of our last installment first! Leryn Franco is a Paraguayan javelin thrower and all-world bikini model. She was the runner-up Miss Paraguay in 2006, which means I need to find what the winner looks like!

Leryn is basically a super model who was bored and so picked up javelin throwing. She isn't any good at it, but neither is anyone else in the world. So she beat out all the wannabe's at Paraguay's olympic qualifiers (Do they even have qualifiers, or is anyone who is rich enough just get to go?) and represented her country at the world games in 2004 and 2008 and finished 21st and 51st respectively.

One thing she is good at is bikini calenders and competing in the miss universe bikini competition. That and the fact that she could probably spear you from 50 meters away makes her a deadly hottie. I would oblige her with some of my personal brand of brownchicken browncow anyday.

Some Players Are Just Pansies

During the Lakers game tonight I noticed after a play had stopped Leandro Barbosa gave Sasha Vujacic a little shoulder while walking back to the bench. Once the shoulder connected with Vujacic he immediately freaked out and started crying to the referee and pointing at Barbosa to see if the referee saw what Barbosa had done. The referee just looked at Vujacic basically saying, Are you serious?

Sasha Vujacic like many foreign players are just not used to that type of trash talk. It is something that I assume doesn't happen in other countries. You notice it a lot in soccer. American players can take a lot more body than European players. You barely touch a Euro player and they freak out and fall down. Not only do they fall down but they stay down and act like the world is coming to an end. American players jump up right away and pretend not to be limping even though the blow hurt a lot.

Why is this? Why do I notice this in sports? Euro players acting like pansies wile Americans are just walking injuries off? I often wonder if I am the only one that notices that these guys are just faking their injuries to get attention. Any American player would trash talk Barbosa back and let him know they are not going to put up with that kind of disrespect. Or they would prove their point on the court. The last thing they would do is sit there and cry to the referee looking for some help.

Yankees Are Retarded

The Yankees reportedly have a deal with CC Sabathia for 161 million over 7 years. This makes Sabathia the highest paid pitcher in baseball history. Do the Yankees really think they are going to get the same production out of CC that the Brewers received last year? The answer is no. 

No one else in the league was about to put up that kind of money for Sabathia, not even close. Teams were meeting with him but the Yankees paid way more than his market value. It is almost as if the Yankees were just putting a ridiculous number out there just to do it. It makes absolutely no sense to me. Of course CC is going to have an unbelievable year on a contract year. He is looking for a big contract. I did not see the same dedication and domination when he was playing for the Tribe not to long ago. The Yankees are going to get Carl Pavano-like production out of CC. Sabathia threw his arm out last year and will not be the same next year. The Brewers destroyed Sabathia's arm. There is no coming back from throwing 120+ pitches every time you hit the bump. The Yankees are once again, throwing their money away.

Harrell Not Invited To New York

Graham Harrell didn't get invited to New York for the Heisman trophy presentation despite leading his team to 11-1 and a tie for first place in the big 12 south. Harrell also had a nation leading 4747 yards passing this season. Many say that his lack of invitation had to do with Harrell's system and how it lends itself to success at the quarterback position. 

Unfortunately Harrell is a victim of Mike Leach's system. Harrell couldn't have done more to get himself in the conversation for the Heisman trophy. Why should Harrell be counted out for the Heisman? The numbers speak for themselves and it really isn't his fault for being in that system. Texas Tech's success this years also deserves recognition and Harrell was a big part of their success. You could make the argument that Harrell did much more for his team than Colt McCoy who did receive an invitation to the Heisman ceremony.  Harrell performed as well or even better than McCoy but McCoy played in a less QB friendly system. Does that seem fair?

Tim Tebow and Sam Bradford, both will be playing for the BCS national championship game will also be at the ceremony. Tebow looking for his second straight Heisman after his incredible performance against top rated Alabama last week.

The Juice

With OJ now behind bars, who will look for the "real" killer? This is one of my favorite family guy clips with OJ in it...enjoy.

Adrian Peterson in High School and College

I found this video on Youtube. No wonder Pete Carroll wanted Peterson so bad coming out of high school. Kids looked scared to tackle him. He still is a man among boys.

Sam Bradford's Face

What is the deal with Sam Bradford's face? I am a huge Sam Bradford fan. He is a great quarterback with great poise and a strong arm. But why do people hate him all around the country? The best excuse that I have heard from people is...."I don't like his face."

I have to admit that Sam Bradford has a baby d-bag like face. He looks like he is 8 years old. But is that enough reason to hate him? The answer is yes. I feel the same way about Philip Rivers. I don't hate Philip Rivers for any reasonable reason. He is a decent young quarterback for the Chargers. The Chargers aren't a hate-able team. Then why do I hate Phillip Rivers? I hate his face! I don't like him because he looks like a douche bag. I don't need any other reason to hate a star quarterback and people don't need any more reason to hate Sam Bradford other than his face. 

Colt McCoy Is Staying Big Surprise...

Why is it still a story when a not-ready for NFL college quarterback decides to stay in college? Colt McCoy told a reporter today that he was not going to enter the NFL draft and he was going to stay at Texas for his senior season. The reason why he was staying? He wanted to win a national title for Texas. But is this the real reason McCoy is staying in college?

Colt McCoy is an undersized quarterback who has a weak arm and plays in a shotgun formation system. This guy is not ready for the NFL. Colt McCoy will not be a star in the NFL. Why would a star college quarterback who is a household name right now want to go to the NFL where he is going to be a nobody? Furthermore playing quarterback for Texas is the greatest thing that will ever happen to Colt, why would he want to give that up? I am not saying he is a bad quarterback, McCoy is a great college quarterback. He is just not the typical NFL style quarterback. These days successful NFL quarterbacks are tall, have strong arms and are great decision makers in their system. Colt McCoy, like Vince Young before him will have to learn how to drop back under center in a NFL system. There will be growing pains, enough that will keep him sidelined until his team cuts him.

Look at the successful young quarterbacks in the league this year. Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco are both tall, smart and have laser rocket arms. Colt McCoy lacks all three of those talents. McCoy along with many many other successful college quarterbacks need to stay in college, that is where they shine.

Boring Bowl...

I used this photo b/c I couldn't find a picture of a current Utah player...ouch

Is anyone hyped up for the Sugar Bowl this year? Former #1 Alabama and head coach Nick Sabin face off against 12-0 Utah and head coach.......????? You have John Parker Wilson a dynamic playmaker going up against Utah's best player ummmm.....

I haven't seen a single Utah game this year and my state borders theirs. They are just on the other side of the Rocky Mountains only a 7 hours drive away from Denver and I didn't see a single game on TV. At least when Urban Meyer was the head coach and Alex Smith was pretending to be a good quarterback I was able to see them on TV. I can't name a single player from the undefeated BCS bound team. I bet not a lot of people across this nation could name any player on that team. 

This has to be the worst bowl match up since Boise State went up against Oklahoma a few years ago. But then again we know what happened when David met up with Goliath. We watched the best football game we have ever seen. Let's hope that Utah can match that performance....or at least not get embarrassed.

Analysts Don't Know Shit

I must admit, I definitely buy into almost everything NFL analysts say on tv. Who wouldn't? Shouldn't they be the experts? What I am coming to decide is that the experts aren't really experts at all. They make educated predictions but they really have no idea what is going on.

Take the Eagles this week. They destroyed the so-called best team in the NFL today and now everyone is on board with the Eagles being a solid team that has enough tools and talent to make it into the playoffs. Was it me or were these same analysts saying 2 weeks ago that the Eagles were falling apart? Donovan Mcnabb gets benched for one half and all the analyst start bad-mouthing the Eagles and questioning whether Andy Reid will be there next year. Now the Eagles are one of the best teams in the NFL? They beat the best team in the NFL in decided fashion and now all of sudden the Eagles are the next big thing? Mcnabb is now one of the best QBs in the NFL when only 2 weeks ago they were saying that he will be traded away after the season.

It is amazing how much a week can change in the NFL especially with the so-called experts. I for one will start to think for myself from now on and not believe everything I hear on TV. Sports talk radio and tv should just stick to a who's hot and who's not format because their fortune telling is awful.

Of course all the analysts are blaming Plaxico for distracting the Giants this week and that is what led to their downfall. Sometimes teams just beat other teams...there is no off the field reason for it.

Jizz In My Pants

Andy Samburg is one of the best things that has happened to SNL in over a decade. Check out one of his new videos. There are several cameos in this film but the best is Justin Timberlake playing into the whole jizzing in your pants phenomenon. Jamie Lynn Sigler would make any man jizz in their pants.

Enjoy..

Hockey...Get a Clue!

Hockey has been hard to find lately on TV. Hockey is almost exclusively shown on fox sports or Vs. these days. This is probably due to the ridiculous strike a few years ago but I have another theory.

Ever been to a live hockey game? It is one of the most exciting fast paced games you have ever seen in person. There are so many plays and OFF THE PUCK MOVEMENT. This movement makes the game worth watching. There is so much going on away from the puck that allows plays to work that they don't show on TV. When you are watching in on TV you always ask yourself...how did that guy get so open on the far side? I don't want to watch it on a replay...I want to watch it live. I want to see the play develop live. 

Hockey needs to make their tv experience much more like you get when you are watching it live. This means you can't film it like football is filmed. Football is filmed at a side angle because it works. Every play in football looks like Armageddon and you don't necessary need to see what is going on away from the football. Hockey needs to find its own way to film their games. This means non-traditional filming techniques. My suggestion is a camera like the wire camera in football. Behind the play and a wide angle so we can see what is going on on the ice. Hockey needs a big overhaul and changing the cameras and angles is the first step in getting this sport back to prominence. 

BCS Championship Game Set

photo as seen on yahoo.com/sports

I can't express how happy I am that Oklahoma will face off with Florida in the BCS championship game. To be perfectly honest these are the 2 "sexiest" teams in the nation. There are no 2 other teams that I would rather see. Sexy teams are exactly what the BCS wants. They don't want to see Texas face off against Alabama. That would be a horrible game. They would probably score a combined 14 points and no one would remember what happened. With Oklahoma and Florida you have several story lines. Tim "Superman" Tebow the former Heisman winner going up against the top scoring team of all time, Oklahoma. 

Sam Bradford is probably the best up and coming quarterback in college football. The accuracy and strength of his passes is matched by no one else in college football. His poise under extreme pressure forecasts him as a great NFL player. Demarco Murray and Percy Harvin are currently both sidelined with injuries but hopefully by the game these dynamic playmakers will be back on the field. If they are this will be the most talented BCS championship game since USC v. Texas a few years back when Vince Young faced off against Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart.

The BCS works people! We got the best 2 teams in the nations...well at least the 2 most entertaining to watch, and that means more if you ask me. A playoff would only make the regular season meaningless like college basketball. Many college football pundants argue that w/o a true national champion that college football is meaningless. I would argue that the journey is more important than the destination. Every game in college football is important and meaningful. I always take the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" approach. College football is extremely entertaining because you have to perform every single week. 

De La Hoya 2-1 Favorite in Pacquiao Fight?

Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images -espn.com

So Pacquiao decidedly and dominantly beat up on the old and slow Oscar De La Hoya on Saturday night but how did no one see this coming? 39 year old "Golden Boy" looks like a shadow of the fighter he once was. Manny Pacquiao landed 59% of his punches thrown and landed almost 150 more punches than De La Hoya.

Why people were calling this the "dream fight" is beyond me. Pacquiao in the prime of his career gaining weight to fight De La Hoya who should have retired 2 fights ago, was cutting weight. Vegas was caught up way too much in all of the hype of this fight. This is something that De La Hoya is still in his prime at, hype. There is much speculation about whether the golden boy is going to retire after this fight and call it quits. Why does he have to when he can make so much money off of fights that he has no business in? He promotes fights so well, people still think he is a premiere fighter. Really that is all you need in boxing these days to make money, promotion. Those with the money to promote their fights (usually old used up boxers), are the ones you are seeing on the big time PPVs these days.

I have been saying for years that boxing is a dying sport. But people are still holding on to it because the sport in itself is pure and great to watch. Boxing needs to promote their young, up and coming fighters and not their over-the-hill fighters. Hopefully Manny Pacquiao can change this.

Maury

When trying to search for a Maury show clip that is commonly referred to on the Jim Rome show I came across this clip. Needless to say I couldn't stop laughing. This man never once questioned why his son was black. Enjoy...

Sloppy Seconds

-AP Photo
The Sean Avery story has seen a lot of press after he was suspended for 6 games without pay after his comments before a Calgary game this week. Basically Avery found a running camera before the game and took a shot at an opposing player saying that he doesn't understand why all these guys are picking up his "sloppy seconds".

NHL commissioner took swift action and suspended him and condemned his comments. Shortly after message boards have been blowing up discussing whether or not saying that is a suspend-able offense. When I first heard the quote I have to admit that I thought it was a little weird and disrespectful. I asked myself why would this guy solicit a camera and openly say this to the media? Talking about sloppy seconds is something that probably should only be talked about in a locker room between guys. This doesn't mean it is right, but it does happen.

After my initial reaction I then thought it was funny and ridiculous. Avery would be destroyed on the ice that night by Dion Phaneuf. The term "sloppy seconds" creates a vivid image in your mind and would make any man want to fight for his lady's honor. Phaneuf was going to pull a Todd Bertuzzi and try to end Avery's career. If that were to happen Phaneuf would have looked like the bad guy. For this reason I think the commissioner did the right thing by suspending Avery.

The Juice is Stone Cold

While watching OJ Simpson being sentenced today I watched the face of a man who got away with murder once (allegedly) and is now being charged for armed robbery and attempted kidnapping. OJ now in his 60's, looked like a man who knew his time as a free man was coming to an end.

When he addressed the court he sounded like a man that was truly sorry for what he had done. He told the court that he was just trying to get his stuff back. For some reason I actually believed OJ during this speech. He told the court that he knew they guys who had taken his stuff and was just intending to go up to their room and scare them. He said he wanted to yell at them. He admitted that he asked one guy to come and help him get his stuff back but the others that came to the room with him had volunteered. You have to believe that OJ didn't think he was doing anything that he could go to jail for. Probably because he didn't think he would get caught. But how could you go up to a room with a gang of big men carrying guns and think there was nothing wrong with it? Not only that but you are OJ Simpson, people are looking to put you away for anything.

While the Judge was handing out the sentence OJ appeared to be on the verge of tears. After the sentence the Juice looked over to someone, smiled and pumped his fist on his chest. This act after finding out that he would spend a minimum of 8-10 years in prison. Eight to ten years if he was on his best behavior but could see up to 20 years if he doesn't get parole.

What Would You Give for a Pepsi?

European marketing has it right. Give people what they want, boobies and/or monkey jokes, and those people will purchase your product. Why you ask? Because boobs and monkies sell, that's why!

These two ads for Pepsi coming out of their European marketing campaigns speak volumes. They work in any language, under any circumstances. They show people making simple sacrafices for the delicious flavor of Pepsi in their gullet. This message comes accross the same way to an American as it does to a Brit, a Ruskie, or an Aussie. (Full pics here and here)

Why can't the US have more advertising like this?! So simple, slightly sarcastic, but perfectly conveying the message. Instead Pepsi hits Americans with science (in blind taste tests, more people prefer Pepsi) and with Bob Dole's disfunctional penis (Bob Dole likey him some Brittney). Neither of those things speak to me at all; why? Because I don't care about two thirds of Americans and regardless, Coke has the market cornered on heritage/history/tradition so people are always going to buy it despite "prefering" Pepsi. Also, I don't take Viagra or Cialis and Brittney Spears doesn't give me hard-ons like it does Bob Dole! (then again, maybe there is something wrong with my penis if he does and I don't...)

Boobs and Monkeys speak to me. I don't know if I want Pepsi as bad as I want to resuscitate Pamela Anderson (and her flotation devices) or have a monkey as a best friend, but that's the joke, right? And it's an awesome one.

Plaxico to Join the Penal Leagues?

As a contributor to The Penal Leagues, I would like to formally extend my welcome to Plaxico Burress. Plax was recently suspended 4 games, heavily fined, and placed on the non-football-injury list by the New York Football Giants. This seems like all bad news, but there is a bright spot to be found in all this mess; Michael Vick will finally have a reliable target in the football Penal League!

These team punishments were handed down one day after the state of New York formally charged Burress with illegal weapons possession, which carries a penalty of 3½ to 15 years in prison if he's convicted.

In my opinion the whole thing was just a result of a lack of focus on Plaxico's part. His entire job revolves around safeties, so this is just one play he took off, right? When you are the Giants' deep threat, you gotta know how to deal with the safeties! This should extend off the field too, but I guess Plaxico simply forgot to think about the safety position. This time, it came back to bite him as he shot himself in the "bathing suit area", effectively ending his season and possibly his freedom for the near future.

Mayor Bloomberg of New York was quoted as saying that Plax should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I for one agree. Plax brought a non-registered, concealed, loaded and unsafetied weapon into a club. When it went off, anyone could have been hit anywhere, but in this case it struck Plaxico and hopefully taught him a lesson. Maybe jail time will teach him another lesson and maybe him and Vick could even hook up to keep up their skillz dat killz!

Keepin' it in the family, Hillbilly style

When it comes to Tennessee, those Vols like to keep it in the family. Not unlike West Virginia, but I digress. The Volunteers recently hired former Oakland Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin as their head coach. Lane will takeover a program that has floundered the last couple years because former coach, Phillip Fulmer, decided he had already won everything and didn't need to try anymore.

Lane is reportedly keeping it in the family by possibly hiring South Carolina's former quarterbacks coach and recruiting coordinator David Reaves, his brother-in-law. It is also rumored that Lane wants to hire his old man, Monte Kiffin, away from the Tampa Bay Bucs to be the Vols defensive coordinator! That would make Lane Kiffin, the youngest of the three, the top dog in a family of football minds.

How does it go in the meeting rooms when Lane needs Pops to do something? Does he simply say, "Hey Monte, could you..." before being smacked in the head by his old man and Monte saying, "Don't you disrespect your father young man!" Does Lane just call him 'Dad' in front of all the other position coaches and coordinators?! Does he have to ask for permission to stay out late? "Dad, do you think I could stay out past 11 tonight? I promise to behave."

How does he assert his authority as the head coach in a room of his family who are all older than him? "Yo broseph, could you grab me a cup of joe, and daddy-o would you mind paying attention, I'm trying to coach here!"

I guess it's a moot point if Monte, who is older than electricity, is passed out all the time or in the bathroom.

Monte is about as old as the forward pass, and like the forward pass, he hasn't gone out of style. I'm actually surprised that Al Davis didn't let Lane hire Monte when he was with Oakland. With Monte there, at least ol' Al would have someone to shoot the shit with him about prohibition or the jurassic era.

Welcome to Citi/Taxpayer Field

Let's face it, these days when you ask yourself, "What's in your wallet?", most people are answering, "Not much!" Citi bank now answers the same thing when asked. Citi is the proud new owner of around $45 billion in taxpayer money. They received $25 billion a couple months ago and just shored that up with another $20 bil. Now I know where a third of my paycheck goes each pay period! Part of it goes to my Dad's social-security-buy-a-new-boat fund (I'm okay with that part), and the rest goes to Citibank.

It should be expected then that Citi Group should share the naming rights to the brand new Mets stadium in New York City, right? Two NYC council members think so! Since the stadium was built with taxpayer money and since the $400 million that Citi group is paying for naming rights is pretty much now ALL taxpayer money, shouldn't we get a say? I thought so with Manchester United!

The two council members are suggesting we try "Citi/Taxpayer Field" instead of simply letting Citi get all the publicity. Not a bad idea in my opinion! Along with putting American flags on the jerseys of all Manchester United players, I think giving the taxpayers of America a little tip of the hat in New York couldn't be bad! Citi Taxpayer Field just sounds like a slap in the face of Citi Group, which of course was intended, but I think we can come up with some better names, right? How about:

1) Bailout Ballpark

2) Field of Broken Dreams

3) Citi Group/NY Mets Super Winners Championship Park

4) The Sandlot

5) That Other NYC baseball team Stadium

6) I Visited New York City and All I Got Was This Lousy Free Checking Account Field

Post comments with any of your suggestions!